Beasting Glitter

A musing of Phonics and Trees

Standing at the bus stop with my shopping in my hands
and I'm over hearing elder ladies, as the roumers start to fly
hear them in a school yard
in a scrap yard
in a chip shop
in a phone box
in a pool hall
at the shoe stall
every corner turn around

Started with a school girl, who was running, running home to her mum and dad,
Told them she was playing in a changing room of a local football ground,
Said saw a man with a beard and a look in his eye
said his name was gandalf, said see my staff
magic powers it can give, just ram it up there, like this in there like that,
said asked her to dance like that around his 'staff'

they said tell us again, she told them again, they said tell us the truth...

She said.....his name was Simoné!

They said I thought so the dirty little fucker!

Thank you for being old...now DIE!

Thank you for being a Kestrel
Flew south down the road and back again with a beak full of fish
Your neck is true your a pal and confidant.

And if you threw a party
Invited everyone you ever knew
There would be 3 people there
You would see the biggest gift would be from me
A giant gannetable cake
And the card attached would say thank you for being a Kestrel.

Tourette Busters

T-Shirts That Clarify

Game Show Moose

Screamapillar's Really Love Chewing Gum

Fridge Magnet Poetry 1

Chocolate arm
Always there
Repulsive boy

Badger Loves Mashed Potatoes

When I was the residence supervisor I used to walk round the building like one of those Chinese presidents who were about 80 years old.
Communism crumbling.
One flat used to make porn. I'm sure somewhere on the internet is porn with me walking past the window looking depressed.

Game Show Moose

Nuclear resistant.....

Peace and love, peace and love,
Buckle my shoe, Peace and love, peace and love,
A shooting Starr, buckle my shoe,
Peace and love, peace and love,
Went marching up the hill,
Peace and love peace and love,
Back down again,
Check my buckled shoe,
Peace and love, peace and love,
Then I jumped on the fucking creepy crawly,
And squashed that beatle under my shoe,
Peace and love, peace and love.

The Cuban Missile Crisis

Economy Crunchy Biscuit

Would you steal from a hobo?
What if you needed the money for your crack addiction you crack whore?
What if it was to buy some finger licking Cadbury's lickin' fingers?
How about if you were bored?
I've robbed a hobo,
And
I
Do
It
Again

Damn fucking hobos.

It's a Beasts world

I am a Beast,
Hear me Roar, 'RAAAAAR'
I am a Beast,
Hear my call, 'Snarf'
I am a Beast,
Heed my word, 'Aye pet man'
I am THE Beast.

World Art Monthly

I went to the loo

Not much happened tho

Swiners Gathering

Little Boy: Hitler you have breasts
Hitler: All ze best to give ze bitty, little boy
Huntly: My, you look young and smooth Potter, come bathe with me
Shippers: My god you are all dirty sick F'in Fat C's, you disgust me
Swiner: Oooo yes, ooooo missy, hmmmmm yes.

And that's Magic.

KIK The Baby

2nd one, not long from number one.
one not prepared to be first, but still it came.
looking, thinking, demonising, 2nd here.
I'd eat the first if the 2nd was first.
Will it matter which?
Waiting......
9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1......FEAST!
I can always make more.